How and Why I became an Identity Coach
- Martyn Eggington
- Aug 21, 2025
- 3 min read
I have been fortunate enough to work with many people who have either been lost or felt lost in their current relationships or life circumstances. If you're like me then you do not like feeling out of control or powerless. Yet that is pretty much where we find ourselves when we have been a part of something meaningful and then that important life asset has quickly dissipated or finished - relationships, jobs, communities etc.
My lived experience with this dilemma came when I first got sober. It was October 2003 and I had been in a freefall of self destructiveness, I was at the proverbial rock bottom and it felt like I had hit the floor but the floor had also hit me. I was in a situation where life had catapulted me into a state where I had no choice but to consider doing something different...and not drinking. I remember thinking 'what the hell just happened?'...quickly followed by 'where the hell am I?'
I had been in such a relentless ride caused by my commitment to avoiding responsibility for myself and it had been just getting crazier and crazier. My life had become despairingly miserable and tragic and people had started to look at me with pity in their eyes. I found that the worst thing they could do. It was the start of me realising that I wasn't getting away with it any more.
When I finally accepted help and began going to twelve step fellowships I began to feel hope again. However, people were starting to win at life around me. They were getting successful in their jobs and relationships. I did envy them to a degree but the main issue I had was that I had no idea what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be or who I wanted to be with.
Although I had been a serial underearner in life I had somehow come into some money and talking it through with my girlfriend at the time, decided to embark on a course with a life coach.
One of the first things we did to kick start my exciting and new 'purpose driven life' was to ascertain what my core values were. Once I had these I had a foundation that I could build from. When I suffered periods of shame attacks, self doubt or negative thinking I could always refer back to these values. They would reinforce that I was looking to change and that I now had a roadmap.
When I began to start looking for my values in things (and people) my life began to change. I started to build a foundation. I got a job that matched my skillset and also was conveniently located so I could spend little time travelling. The people who interviewed me had the kindness that I was looking for. After quite a long time dating I finally found someone who matched more of the characteristics I wanted. Although we decided to part after a year this was due to circumstances more than anything to do with our personalities or behaviours.
Fast forward to now and using one of my most important values 'being of service to others' I now love helping people get on their paths and seeing them grow and overcome their fears and doubts.
If you want that experience then why not send me a message and we'll jump on a call? Or if you're feeling very courageous why not book a package of sessions online with me today by clicking the below registration button. You'll not regret it......but if you do i'll give you your money back!
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