Resolutions? goals? or sticks to beat yourself with?

He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him.

-Dutch Proverb

Every new years eve people put together goals, plans, Vision Boards and other resolutions to become better at something, to achieve more or to gain something extra to what they had the year before.

For me before I have any considerations of the year ahead I find the best place to start with is 'I am enough'. I can provide my own needs today. Is there anything that I am lacking? How's my confidence? Do I need to feed myself affirmations? Am I resentful? Do I need to forgive someone or myself? Am I grateful? and if I look at the bare essentials of life, for me to feel gratitude then I ask myself do 'I have enough'.

Those essentials are:-

1. Do I have a roof over my head?

2. Do I have food in the cupboard?

3. Do I have electricity and/or gas for cooking, heating and water?

4. Do I have clothes on my back?

5. Do I have transport to work?

If I answer yes to all of these then (and only then) do I ask myself what would I like to change, add or take away from my life.

Mental wellbeing is the most important consideration when making new goals in the new year. These five areas create healthy mental wellbeing so ask yourself if you can add or improve these:-

1. Connecting with others

2. Be physically active

3. Learn new skills

4. Give (or be of service) to others

5. Be present or pay attention to the present moment (mindfulness)

However, there is no such gain in creating goals for yourself that are unattainable. Start them small and don't be shy to put what you really most want in there, it's ok to be selfish sometimes. The worst thing you can do is set yourself up for a fall by setting them too high, not achieving them and beating yourself up.

If you want some coaching around working out your plans or dreams then send me an email and let's set up an exploratory call - martyn@becomeunstuck.co.uk

Good luck and a very happy new year to you all!